JOURNAL ENTRY 1
SUNDAY NIGHT
April 30th
THE JOURNAL ENTRIES BEGIN .........
EL's Journal Entry 1
Did you ever have a feeling that’s so
compelling you don’t know
how to stop it? Have you ever felt
alone and unwilling to adventure
in risky territory. Maybe it just didn’t
feel right, maybe you were
afraid of what people might think. I
don’t dwell to much on these
feelings anymore because I am the only
one who really knows
for sure what is really happening and
going on here. Much like
what you and only you know, that which
is the truth for you.
My truth starts with a new reality and
new life in a house here in
Wallingford, Connecticut. I am not going
to go into detail about
how this happened yet or where the house
physically exists.
I will tell you that the house is old
and through unforeseen
circumstances the house now belongs to
me.
Some things just seem to be destiny, I
don’t know. It’s a
farmhouse up on a hill surrounded by
trees and birds and a very
rustic New England type setting. It’s in
the woods and there is
a big dark stone fireplace in my
bedroom. I feel very at home here
in an unsettling way. I grew up more or
less in the woods and spent
a lot of time in the forest, it was my
escape and a very magical one.
This reminds me of those times playing
in the brook, climbing the
rocks, listening to the birds…….it’s all
destiny I suppose to end up
where you started.
The house…. I haven’t been here very
long and I have discovered
places here inside the house that are
intriguing, I have this feeling
there is much more here. Sometimes I
have felt loneliness since
I have been here, although there seems
to be no reason for this,
still I have these feelings. I also feel
like I have lost something,
I’m not sure what, but I find myself
compelled to search and find it.
I do not know what I search for…..just
that I must search.
I sense at times someone may be looking
over my shoulder
and somewhere in the room but I brush
that off as a new experience
in a “new” place. I know once I am here
for any length of time that
it will be filled with that feeling that
“this is my home again”, ‘it
will feel
good
again.”
The only thing I can’t explain is the
bizarre dream I had last night
Although I don‘t remember everything
about this dream and
waking up feeling exhausted. What was I
doing dreaming about the
cemetery anyway? Who was I looking for
and how did a rose end
up in my bed?
If you ask me it’s just plain
creepy………for now I am going
to try to figure out who bought me a
rose and how it fell out
of something and onto my bed ……EL
